An interesting conversation...

Another story for my nephews and nieces:

(my own and through marriage alike)

This is the story of another brother.

Boy: Jiu mu, I feel so sad...i feel like i have not made my parents happy...

Jiu mu: Why do you feel like that? I'm sure they are happy.

Boy: They have been here for a whole week but i feel that i have not made anything that makes

them happy.

Jiu mu: Well...you have to understand that parents are pretty simple creature. It's pretty simple

to make them happy, just by seeing youmakes them happy.

Boy: Really? But my mom always compares me with my brother. And he wants me to be like

him - good at studies and all.

Jiu mu: First of all, you have to understand that you could never be like him. You may have the

same DNA and stuff but the composition is different.

Boy: So, what should i do?

Jiu mu: You have to know your strength and what you are good at and capitalise on that.

Boy: You mean...choose to do something that totally different from what my parents expect me

to do? Wouldn't that be making my mom unhappy?

Jiu mu: Well...you have to show that you are truly happy with your own choice and that you

bring a difference in this life by what you are doing best. And in doing so. you will make

them happy. As long as you live a happy life, your parents will be happy for you.

Boy: I wish my mom would change. She reads a lot of books but she remains the same all the

time. Dad is a different matter. He never reads any books and he is not

educated like mom but he is so wise in things about life.

Jiu mu: Your mom is old. And you are young. It is very difficult for her to change. You, on the

other hand, are young and flexible and it is easier for you to change.

Boy: I know that but i just wish...you know...

Jiu mu: Imagine this - your mom is a 486 CPU and you are Pentium whatever the latest. It's

difficult to upgrade her. Not impossible but if she changes a little bit, you should be

happy about it.

Boy: Hmmm.....

Jiu mu: Your mom is like a mountain. And you...want to get to the other side. No matter how you

shout, hack away, bomb it or dig it...you'll never be able to move it. It will still stand

strong....but does it mean you cannot get to the other side?

Boy: No...

Jiu mu: What would you do?

Boy: I'll think of other ways.

Jiu mu: That's right...and in the end you'll be happy and she'll be happy. Once you understand

this concept...you would be so unhappy about your mom.

Boy: Yeah...i know...but don't you think she can still change?

Jiu mu: Your expectation is too high. To change your mom...or to revamp her....you need to

uproot her....you need to change her childhood experiences, you need to change the

whole 70s and 80s...the time when she was molded into the person that she is

nowadays...do you think you can change that?

Boy: Hmmm....no.....

Jiu mu: She is the person she is today because of the environment...the trend and the

situation...and even the era she grew up in. So, if she's able to shift a little bit...that is

something that's worth rejoicing about. Once you understand this simple concept, you

will make peace with her and everything will be okay. And you won't be so hard on her.

This is just part of the interesting conversation between us.

(Jiu mu means Aunty in Mandarin)

The important part that is.

Some of you may disagree with this - especially the young ones -

but it is a concept that i found difficult to understand too

before. And the less you understand this...the less forgiving you are...

and the more unhappy you become.

But if you can understand this, you willmake peace with the

older generation who have different set of thinking

from the young.

There is no good or bad in this situation...just understanding....