23 weeks and 2 days.....3D scan....

Baby is getting bigger.....

can feel her move now...and most active at night....

her kicks are so hard sometimes that my stomach moved...

Hahahaha.....talk about a tiny 11 inches being inside of me....

We had her picture taken again today....in 3D this time...

at Columbia Asia...

Still she's covering part of her face...so it wasn't so clear...

Naughty...naughty....

Chin insisted that she has his nose.....and my eyes...

but it's too early to tell.....

Chin is going to convince her to show her face

the next time we have her scanned.....

She's growing according to schedule....

now she's at 600 gram....

in a month....her weight has doubled...

Good...good....

So is my weight.....i'm so round now....

think i can roll down a hill and nothing can stop me from rolling.

:P

We did a little shopping last week....

towels....bathing stuff....cloth diapers....diaper liners....

little things...but still a long way to go down the shopping list.

Still have play pen to look for.....the bigger stuff....

like car seat...stroller....

so yeah...if there's a secondhand stuff on sale...we won't mind

buying them.

Chin is still blur about the shopping thingy...

he thought that he can get them once the baby is born....

By that time, i think he would panic and not knowing what to buy

since there are so many brands and types in the market....

It's mind boggling actually....it boggles my

mind even.....

but if i were so confused...imagine how the effect is on Chin....

:P

God bless all the fathers to be....for being so blur like Chin.

It's a girl.....

Today was a day we awaited for....

our appointment to scan for baby's gender in Columbia Asia.

All sort of thoughts went through our heads....

wondering...and nervous....

I don't really mind actually if it's a boy

or a girl.....tho we really want a girl....

but a boy would be fine too...

i kinda attach to the name Ethan Gaell and is

halfway fallen in love with it....

So yeah.....

we discover after an hour wait in the waiting room...

that it is a girl....

We were thrilled......but somehow...i kinda miss Ethan....

Names......

If our child were a boy, he would begin his public speaking

speech thus someday:

If I were a girl, i would be an Esther Grace....but alas i am not....

so, here I am...an Ethan Gale...courtesy from the EG of Esther Grace.

Well, while walking out from Carrefour, i suddenly asked him:

How about Ethan? Ethan Gale? Ethan Gaell?

He stopped to ponder....

It sounds like one who has good looks, tall, and sharp. I like it.

Ethan Hawke?

In your dream, i said....:p

So we agreed on Ethan....but he is still doubtful about Gale.

Chin and I had earlier on thought about

suitable names for our baby....

and we hope that it will be a girl....

We agreed that

Esther Grace will be a befitting name for her

because she was conceived during the

Holy Month of Lent.

All the processes leading up to the

extraction and transfer fell

in the month of Lent.

The extraction of the eggs was done on Holy Thursday, thus

we missed attending the Thursday Vigil mass.

The transfer was done on Easter morning....

and thank God.....we are successful in our first

attempt...which is a grace of God in itself.

Thus the name Esther Grace.

Gracie Girl.....:p

So, on Sunday evening, we agreed on Ethan.

It sound like a person with strong characteristics.

but we did laugh about it in the car...

What if someday his friends said to him:

Have you eaten already, Ethan?

How about that for a pun?

Meaning: Ethan - origin - Hebrew means strong, optimistic, solid,

enduring or permanent. Also English in origin.

Gaell - origin - Celtic, Irish - is a variation of Gale, means happy, cheerful.

has the meaning of speaker of Gaelic, an Irish language.

I love both names......

Esther Grace or Ethan Gaell.

19 weeks and taking one day at a time......

19 weeks...seriously?

That fast....yeah...it's from the ovulation stage would be 19 weeks

but from implantation stage...that would be minus 2 weeks.

I still cannot feel any obvious movements yet

but i kinda wonder if the small ticks

at unexpected moment is the baby...

:p

At 17 weeks...i suffered threatened miscarriage....

a sudden bleeding...and not just a little

bit but a lot....

Luckily there was no pain and baby's heartbeat was still strong.

I was warded for one night for observation in

Jelebu Hospital...

got one week MC then...

i went for my long overdue appointment with a gyne

in Columbia Asia on Thursday and got another week of MC...

so all in all 2 weeks.

I am forced to acknowledge that i have to slow down and

take things easy...

which is not so easy for one who tends to walk so fast

everywhere in the school compound.

Dr Intan scan the baby but it was kinda blurry for us to really understand

the image we saw....

so another appointment has been set for 25th August.

The Doc said by then we can see the gender.

Oh...i am a nervous wreck....

I cant wait till next week.

Thankfully after next week is the Hari Raya break and

a one week holiday.

I'll get another week of rest. By then baby would be

21 weeks....

how time flies....

I've put on a lot of weight too.

In one and a half month i've put on 4 kgs which shocks me.

I guess i ate a lot after i was hospitalised. Before that my

weight was just static at 2 kgs for 2 weeks.

Hmmm.....i have to watch it....

or the blood sugar and pressure would shoot sky high...

Oh...oh...

Chin has been trying to feel the movements for days now

hahahaha but failed.....yeah...maybe one more month

then he can feel the kicks and nudges.

9 weeks and 7 days later .....

24 June 2011 -

9w4d.....and 2.82 cm......and still growing...

Wow.....still couldn't believe it......

This was our 3rd scan for the little one....

The second scan was in 7 weeks and there was just a

round beating blob....with heartbeats....

now....9 weeks.....there were heartbeats and shapes....

a full shape.....

a tiny head...hands and legs......and she's spinning.....jumping....

sliding...swimming in the womb.....

It was Chin's first sight and he grew all misty eyed over it.

Ample of space for her to swim yet.....

pretty naughty for one so tiny.....

Oh bliss......

We have got 4 blurry black and white pics of her...

and she's only 10 wks....hahahaha.....

Everything is so amazing......

The First Scan...

The wait finally came to an end....

my appointment was rescheduled to today...earlier

one week because Doc Natasha was admitted into the

hospital herself.

So she referred me to another doc.

We went today...excited to know....

tho last Monday.....

i suddenly suffered from hyperventilation...

and we contacted Doc Natasha thru phone.

Talked to her and she asked us to do

a pregnancy test...

and so we did...and it came up positive.

But still....the scan today is the most awaited one.

I saw a blurry sac....it's been four weeks now

since the retrieval and fertilisation....

so counting from 21st April...it is nearly 4 weeks.

The doc scheduled another scan on June 2nd...

and we hope to see more by then.

But for now....

we have to take really good care so that it will eventually survived

and grow to be strong.....

Other symptoms i have would be

sleepiness....

yeap ...i sleep a lot....almost all the time i figure....

if i can....that is....

and i get hungry very quick....

yeap...dats the early symptom...

apart from buying myself a whole new sets of bras.....

hhahhahahah.....

But best of luck to us....

and pray real hard that God will bless us.....

and give us this gift....

Spotting....arghhh....

I came out of the bathroom after shower

when i noticed that there was spotting....

blood....just a bit...which is called spotting.
I have been feeling all sort of sensation to my stomach

this one week....

a bit of pain here and there when i urinated...

or when my bladder is full....

sometimes phantom pain at certain spot on my

stomach which was jab before.

But today....my lower abdomen feel so full....

bloated....like pre-menstrual symptom...

i didn't really think about it until i noted the spotting

this evening.

I panicked and called for Chin....

I didn't realise how strong my feeling was until

i spotted the blood.

Chin reassured me saying that Doc Natasha said

a little bit of spotting is normal.

Of course she told me that and even the nurse

Norazemah said so...

but when it happened, i suffer from panic attack.

Chin was pretty calm and he quickly did a

quick search online to read about the

reasons for the spotting and

if it is normal.

Seems that it does happen for a number of reasons

but it is usually normal but does not happen

to all those who undergo IVF.

I cried from relief when i read that...

partly because knowing that it is normal....

and it could be good signs and partly because there is an

explanation to it.

But still...i pray that it is caused by the implantation

spotting which is when the embryo burrows itself into

the uterine wall...

so I hope that it is that.

The first 2 weeks is the most critical moment so

i hope that everything will go well

and we can have 2 babies soon.

I didn't realise how much of a roller coaster ride it is

...my feeling that is....or how intense it felt ...

most from the hoping until i saw the blood.

All we can do now is pray and say some positive

words to the embryos so they will stay....

This is a good site tho to refer to:

http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/569-After-IVF-Embryo-Transfer-What-You-Need-to-Know

Transfer...done...and now...we wait...

Easter Sunday dawns bright and beautiful...

we woke up early and left for

HUKM at 7.30 am.

In the sparse traffic we arrived at 8.15 am and

MAC was not even open yet.

So we waited...and at 9.00 the nurses arrived.

I went in and got changed immedietly.

Then at 9.10 am...

i went into the procedure room to wait for

Dr Natasha.

She came a moment later and she asked Chin to

join us in the procedure room.

We were shown the embryo and one is beautifully

divide into 8 cells while the other one is only 4 cells.

Dr Natasha put both in.

The process took about 15 minutes

but it wasn't and easy task.

There was a layer that blocked the tube

from reaching the womb so the doc had to

scrap it and the pain was so intense.

Then, it went in and

the embryologist came in with the catheter and a moment later

she shot the embryos in.....then it was done.

We only could see the white liquid from the scan monitor.

I rested for an hour, then was discharged.

After taking all the medication and was jab once...

we went back.

I need to be jab twice a week now and

whole lot of medication to eat.

My appointment is 3 weeks later and

only then will we know if it works.

now, we wait and pray hard.

May God bless us and all the hard work

and suffering will bring good news.

Ma-in-law comes to stay for a week while i'm on MC

so i don't have to do house chores and all.

Thank God for her.

The Most awaited call...

Got The call today...about the transfer tomorrow.

So alas....

It's the holy weekend....and happen

the whole process takes place during the holy weekend.

We pray that this is a good sign for us

and that God would have mercy on us and

grant us our prayers.

So...tomorrow it is then.

I don't know how i feel right now.

Excited...nervous....

Hmmmmm....i'll just wait.

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday.....

If everything works with God's blessing

I think Easter Grace is a good name.

Extraction

It's been 12 days now.....

Last Sunday we went for another follicle tracking...

and then the doc decided to increase the dosage of Menopur to

300iu...four vials...

but by the time the nurse called from HULM we

were already in Times Square for

Chin's reunion...

we tried to look for a clinic to do it but it

was on a Sunday...so we couldn't find one that's willing to

do the jab...

so we did not increase the dosage...

I had to be injected twice now...

one for menopur and the other one for Orgalutron....

to prevent the eggs from breaking....

yeap....both are damn painful...

Monday we went back for the extra dosage of menopur and

tuesday for another follicle tracking.

Dr Natasha confirmed that Thursday would

be the day for extraction....

So today...extraction was successful...

i was given sedative for an hour or so...so i was sleeping

when the whole process happened....

Lucky me...i didn't feel anything....

when i woke up...just a slight heaviness on my right abdomen....

After Chin given his specimen, we could only hope for the best

and wait for the call.

Argh...i hope after all the pain we went through...God

would finally bless us with what we

have been dreaming of all this while.

Now...we are waiting for Saturday...for HUKM to call

about the transfer....

i pray that everything will go smoothly...

Day 9 of jab...

Yesterday we went to HUKM for follicle tracking..

and was told that the left side follicle are not responding

to the hormone treatment.

The right side on the other hand has 2 eggs

which are growing bigger.

So...we waited for Doc Natasha to answer the phone but

she didn't answer the phone.

So the nurse decided to give me the same dosage

of menopur which was 225 iu but i have to have another jab.

It's to prevent the eggs from breaking....

Argh...now both sides of my stomach are painful...

but the pain from the latter lasts longer....

It's like bee sting...

We left for Times Square later for Chin's reunion...but

received a call from HUKM asking us to increase

the dosage of menopur...adding another 75 iu.

We couldn't find a clinic

who would do it so yeah...we didn't eventually.

Today we went to HUKM for the extra shot

and the Monday morning jam was horrible.

I realise that i got headache now..

and it's may be the effect of the increased

hormone my body receives.

And the right side of my stomach feels like a bit

bloated.....argh....

my daily mantra becomes....

i can do this...it'll be over in 10 mins....

i'll say it over and over again....

trying to convince myself that the pain will be just a while....

I can do this....yes....

i'm going to see it through...

and pray to GOD that the 2 eggs will see it through too

to become a baby eventually....

Amen to that.

Day 5....

We went to HUKM for the Follicle Tracking scan.

The follicle on the right side were very obvious

but the follicle on the left were not clear.

So....the good doc increase the dosage of Menopur

from 150 iu to 225 iu starting today.

The jab was painful...yeah

first time i cried.....

not cried actually...just felt like letting my tears rolling

down the side.

Anyway...i have decided that if i feel like

crying, i will and no point of holding

it back anyway.

I'm supposed to call MAC on Friday

to check if i need to go to HUKM on Sunday for the next

Follicle tracking scan.

I the meantime...3 more days of injection....

Argh.....

I discover that i can't really concentrate

on things when i need to...

and i got slight headache and feel tired...

Like i need my brain for debate training but i couldnt concentrate....

I hope sunday wil bring good news....

IVF day four....

It's been 4 day.....

of injection on the stomach...

The first 2 days were painful....the third day was okay

the forth, today was slightly painful...but my stomach

felt sore the whole day....

Argh...i dread it every time i drove to the polyclinic at 10 am

each morning.

The nurses were very good to me...

gentle and understanding....

it makes the ordeal easier to bear.....

The thought of this makes the pain bearable and it gives me the

strength to face another jab.

Tomorrow we'll be going to HUKM to scan the size and number of ovum

and see if i need more jabs and higher dosage.

I hope that everything will go as plan and

yeah...as it is supposed to be.

We are quite blur too about the injection but we roughly

got the idea after seeing the doctor in the clinic mixed

it up on Sunday.

This is the first case faced by the Jelebu Polyclinic and

it gives them some experience to give jab

for IVF.

I have to explain it every time.

Chin has been extremely good to me....:p

Lol...he treated me nicely.....

hold my hand in the car while driving....

held my hands during the first 2 injections....

indulge me....hmmm.....belanja me makan nice thingy....

Hugs me...and asks me if it hurts etc....

Hmmm......not bad eh...?

There's still hope yet for him....

Ahahahahahahaha......

Let's pray that everything will be well tomorrow.

IVF begins...

April marks the beginning.

Anyway...my pills finished last Tuesday...

so i counted 3 days to my first day period....

and that's Friday.

I was thinking of going to HUKM on Monday

since i didn't think that my period would be really heavy

during the weekends.

But on Friday...my dear, dear friend decided to visit me...

so i changed my mind and went to HUKM to get the

hormone injection dosage first incase

i needed to start the whole procedure on Sunday.

Well, this proves to be correct.

By Saturday...I knew that the first injection would be

on Sunday.

This is how 4 dosage look like.

It's called Menopur.

Anyway, we went around looking for a clinic that can

administer the shot for me.

Finally the Doc near my place,

Dr Pukazendi said he knows how to do it.

Yeah...i always frequent his clinic

so he knows me.

Anyway....didn't sleep very well...

nervous about the whole injection thingy.

Sunday dawn clear and bright

so came 10 am, we headed there.

The good doc mixed the 'potion'

and i was a nervous wreck.....

then the next thing i knew...i was lying on the

examination bed and chin encouraging me...

and the sting....argh...the sting...

thank God it was only for 10 seconds....but felt like

eternity.

4 or maybe 8 more shots of this.....aih....

Luckily the pain only lasted for 5 mins...

then it was ok....

i think i can survive this part....

with the yelling and nervous wrecking that is....

Ooohhh.....

I 'll get through it if Guilliana Rancic can...

I can...