Names......

If our child were a boy, he would begin his public speaking

speech thus someday:

If I were a girl, i would be an Esther Grace....but alas i am not....

so, here I am...an Ethan Gale...courtesy from the EG of Esther Grace.

Well, while walking out from Carrefour, i suddenly asked him:

How about Ethan? Ethan Gale? Ethan Gaell?

He stopped to ponder....

It sounds like one who has good looks, tall, and sharp. I like it.

Ethan Hawke?

In your dream, i said....:p

So we agreed on Ethan....but he is still doubtful about Gale.

Chin and I had earlier on thought about

suitable names for our baby....

and we hope that it will be a girl....

We agreed that

Esther Grace will be a befitting name for her

because she was conceived during the

Holy Month of Lent.

All the processes leading up to the

extraction and transfer fell

in the month of Lent.

The extraction of the eggs was done on Holy Thursday, thus

we missed attending the Thursday Vigil mass.

The transfer was done on Easter morning....

and thank God.....we are successful in our first

attempt...which is a grace of God in itself.

Thus the name Esther Grace.

Gracie Girl.....:p

So, on Sunday evening, we agreed on Ethan.

It sound like a person with strong characteristics.

but we did laugh about it in the car...

What if someday his friends said to him:

Have you eaten already, Ethan?

How about that for a pun?

Meaning: Ethan - origin - Hebrew means strong, optimistic, solid,

enduring or permanent. Also English in origin.

Gaell - origin - Celtic, Irish - is a variation of Gale, means happy, cheerful.

has the meaning of speaker of Gaelic, an Irish language.

I love both names......

Esther Grace or Ethan Gaell.

19 weeks and taking one day at a time......

19 weeks...seriously?

That fast....yeah...it's from the ovulation stage would be 19 weeks

but from implantation stage...that would be minus 2 weeks.

I still cannot feel any obvious movements yet

but i kinda wonder if the small ticks

at unexpected moment is the baby...

:p

At 17 weeks...i suffered threatened miscarriage....

a sudden bleeding...and not just a little

bit but a lot....

Luckily there was no pain and baby's heartbeat was still strong.

I was warded for one night for observation in

Jelebu Hospital...

got one week MC then...

i went for my long overdue appointment with a gyne

in Columbia Asia on Thursday and got another week of MC...

so all in all 2 weeks.

I am forced to acknowledge that i have to slow down and

take things easy...

which is not so easy for one who tends to walk so fast

everywhere in the school compound.

Dr Intan scan the baby but it was kinda blurry for us to really understand

the image we saw....

so another appointment has been set for 25th August.

The Doc said by then we can see the gender.

Oh...i am a nervous wreck....

I cant wait till next week.

Thankfully after next week is the Hari Raya break and

a one week holiday.

I'll get another week of rest. By then baby would be

21 weeks....

how time flies....

I've put on a lot of weight too.

In one and a half month i've put on 4 kgs which shocks me.

I guess i ate a lot after i was hospitalised. Before that my

weight was just static at 2 kgs for 2 weeks.

Hmmm.....i have to watch it....

or the blood sugar and pressure would shoot sky high...

Oh...oh...

Chin has been trying to feel the movements for days now

hahahaha but failed.....yeah...maybe one more month

then he can feel the kicks and nudges.

9 weeks and 7 days later .....

24 June 2011 -

9w4d.....and 2.82 cm......and still growing...

Wow.....still couldn't believe it......

This was our 3rd scan for the little one....

The second scan was in 7 weeks and there was just a

round beating blob....with heartbeats....

now....9 weeks.....there were heartbeats and shapes....

a full shape.....

a tiny head...hands and legs......and she's spinning.....jumping....

sliding...swimming in the womb.....

It was Chin's first sight and he grew all misty eyed over it.

Ample of space for her to swim yet.....

pretty naughty for one so tiny.....

Oh bliss......

We have got 4 blurry black and white pics of her...

and she's only 10 wks....hahahaha.....

Everything is so amazing......

The First Scan...

The wait finally came to an end....

my appointment was rescheduled to today...earlier

one week because Doc Natasha was admitted into the

hospital herself.

So she referred me to another doc.

We went today...excited to know....

tho last Monday.....

i suddenly suffered from hyperventilation...

and we contacted Doc Natasha thru phone.

Talked to her and she asked us to do

a pregnancy test...

and so we did...and it came up positive.

But still....the scan today is the most awaited one.

I saw a blurry sac....it's been four weeks now

since the retrieval and fertilisation....

so counting from 21st April...it is nearly 4 weeks.

The doc scheduled another scan on June 2nd...

and we hope to see more by then.

But for now....

we have to take really good care so that it will eventually survived

and grow to be strong.....

Other symptoms i have would be

sleepiness....

yeap ...i sleep a lot....almost all the time i figure....

if i can....that is....

and i get hungry very quick....

yeap...dats the early symptom...

apart from buying myself a whole new sets of bras.....

hhahhahahah.....

But best of luck to us....

and pray real hard that God will bless us.....

and give us this gift....

Spotting....arghhh....

I came out of the bathroom after shower

when i noticed that there was spotting....

blood....just a bit...which is called spotting.
I have been feeling all sort of sensation to my stomach

this one week....

a bit of pain here and there when i urinated...

or when my bladder is full....

sometimes phantom pain at certain spot on my

stomach which was jab before.

But today....my lower abdomen feel so full....

bloated....like pre-menstrual symptom...

i didn't really think about it until i noted the spotting

this evening.

I panicked and called for Chin....

I didn't realise how strong my feeling was until

i spotted the blood.

Chin reassured me saying that Doc Natasha said

a little bit of spotting is normal.

Of course she told me that and even the nurse

Norazemah said so...

but when it happened, i suffer from panic attack.

Chin was pretty calm and he quickly did a

quick search online to read about the

reasons for the spotting and

if it is normal.

Seems that it does happen for a number of reasons

but it is usually normal but does not happen

to all those who undergo IVF.

I cried from relief when i read that...

partly because knowing that it is normal....

and it could be good signs and partly because there is an

explanation to it.

But still...i pray that it is caused by the implantation

spotting which is when the embryo burrows itself into

the uterine wall...

so I hope that it is that.

The first 2 weeks is the most critical moment so

i hope that everything will go well

and we can have 2 babies soon.

I didn't realise how much of a roller coaster ride it is

...my feeling that is....or how intense it felt ...

most from the hoping until i saw the blood.

All we can do now is pray and say some positive

words to the embryos so they will stay....

This is a good site tho to refer to:

http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/569-After-IVF-Embryo-Transfer-What-You-Need-to-Know

2 falls so far....and i hope....

I got a message today...

saying that our drama team lost.

Of all the thing is we lost to a small school which

definitely does have the potential of winning.

UJ lost....if to a bigger school it's still

understandable...

but this to a smaller school....

argh....and worse of all...i have to shoulder this as

i'm the KP and i have to answer why we lost.

As i said before...

doing things with meager effort will not

yield great result...

and worse of all the person who does this is just a

person who is satisfied with meager effort

in her life.

Transfer...done...and now...we wait...

Easter Sunday dawns bright and beautiful...

we woke up early and left for

HUKM at 7.30 am.

In the sparse traffic we arrived at 8.15 am and

MAC was not even open yet.

So we waited...and at 9.00 the nurses arrived.

I went in and got changed immedietly.

Then at 9.10 am...

i went into the procedure room to wait for

Dr Natasha.

She came a moment later and she asked Chin to

join us in the procedure room.

We were shown the embryo and one is beautifully

divide into 8 cells while the other one is only 4 cells.

Dr Natasha put both in.

The process took about 15 minutes

but it wasn't and easy task.

There was a layer that blocked the tube

from reaching the womb so the doc had to

scrap it and the pain was so intense.

Then, it went in and

the embryologist came in with the catheter and a moment later

she shot the embryos in.....then it was done.

We only could see the white liquid from the scan monitor.

I rested for an hour, then was discharged.

After taking all the medication and was jab once...

we went back.

I need to be jab twice a week now and

whole lot of medication to eat.

My appointment is 3 weeks later and

only then will we know if it works.

now, we wait and pray hard.

May God bless us and all the hard work

and suffering will bring good news.

Ma-in-law comes to stay for a week while i'm on MC

so i don't have to do house chores and all.

Thank God for her.